Tip #6: Nothing is ever free – even when someone says it is.
Just like everyone in Egypt expects a tip, everyone in Egypt also thinks they can convince you their goods are “free” when they just plan on charging you for it a few minutes later. For example, at the Pyramids there are tons of merchants offering you a “free” headdress. They butter you up, tell you that you “look Egyptian” (Sidebar: NO I DON’T.), act like your best friend in the world, and then when you take the supposed gift, you get charged something like 30-40 pounds. And no, I didn’t fall for this. Not that dumb. Which isn’t to say that we didn’t get pulled into a sort of Pyramid scheme (Sidebar: Get it? Get it?)…
(Us in front of the Great Pyramid)
(What? I got hungry.)Before I get to the story, let me say that the Pyramids are just as cool as advertised. They are absolutely gigantic and mind-boggling, especially when you start to wonder how the hell these things got built. (Sidebar: Tried to find the brick my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather laid. No success.) Seriously, they deserve their status as an ancient wonder of the world.
(Go figure: They found the Jews and made us build another Pyramid.)But back to the story – and there’s some real advice in this one. After touring a few of the Pyramids, our tour guide Osama took us to another site where he introduced us to his “colleague.” They explained to us how you could not see all of the Pyramids by foot or by bus, and that the only way to see all 9 of them was by camel or horse ride. And lucky us – they were taking us on a camel ride!
(Don't let our smiles fool you. Right after this picture was taken things went bad.)So we hopped on our camels and took a ride through the desert. And it was pretty sweet seeing all the Pyramids at once, taking some pictures, and enjoying our peaceful ride through the desert. But remember how nothing is free? Well, we rightfully assumed that this was part of the tour. Osama certainly made it sound that way, and good business ethics would lead him to inform us ahead of time if we would have to pay for the ride. Oh, silly Americans. We returned from our trip, told Osama’s friend how much we enjoyed it, and then learned that we owed him 200 pounds each. Whoops. Needless to say we weren’t happy. Unfortunately, we had been royally screwed – pretty much the headdress thing on a much larger scale. Sucker them in, butter them up with compliments, tell them how lucky they are, provide the service, and then move in for the kill. At this point there was pretty much nothing we could do – our tour guide had set us up, we were a bunch of Jews in the middle of Egypt, and I didn’t really see a whole lot of good coming from us getting into a fight with a 6’5” Egyptian and his camels. So, we paid the schmuck and moved on. Lesson learned here, folks – make sure services have been paid for before you jump on a camel.
Tip #7: Obligatory Sphinx reference.
I really don’t have anything here. We went to the Sphinx. It was cool. About all I have to add is that it’s kinda cool that the entire thing was carved out of one block of stone. I mean, how did they do that?
Tip #8: Be nice to your fellow tourists.
I lied – I do have something from the Sphinx, just not necessarily Sphinx-related. As we were sitting and just kind of looking at the thing, a bunch of other tourists asked us to take a picture of them. After a while, I got pretty good, to the point where I knew exactly where to stand so that they could get both the Sphinx and the Pyramids in the background. We sparked up some pretty interesting conversations as well, from a couple from Minnesota to a few Australians. Anyway, you’re all in the same boat, so you might as well see who you meet.
Tip #9: The Nile is a lot cooler to talk about than to actually be on.
I know, I know. But we went on a dinner cruise on the Nile, and there wasn’t a single moment when I thought, “Wow, I’m on the Nile!” I could have been on the Mississippi River for as much difference as it would make. First off, the trip to the boat was an adventure in itself – our tour guide told the driver he would meet us at a stop on the side of the highway, which led to us standing out there for 20 minutes as we watched the time tick closer and closer to the boat leaving. We had Jacob demanding that the driver to let us talk to Osama ourselves, Allie was yelling at him to take us back to the hotel since we were probably going to miss the boat, and I was pretty much fed up with the day, so I sat back and laughed at the absurdity of the situation. Finally, we found out that Osama was actually at the damn boat all along and was holding it for us. Lucky us. Between the food, general décor, and the guy playing Celine Dion on his electric synthesizer, I was pretty sure it was actually the year 1983. But really, as nice as it was to sit on the top deck and watch the scenery, there was nothing to differentiate the river from anywhere else. We didn’t learn anything about the Nile, no one turned it into blood with his staff, nothing. Kind of a disappointment.
(Come on... seriously?)Tip #10: Block off a lot of time for the Egyptian Museum.
No doubt about it, that day was full of disappointments. But have no fear, better things were to come! Osama was replaced with Muhammed, a fantastic tour guide who was incredibly knowledgeable and answered all of our questions with added info. The first place he took us, the Cairo Museum, ended up being far and away my favorite place we saw. The place is kind of like the Smithsonian, in that you legitimately need about 6-7 months to really see everything there. As we had about 2 hours, we focused on the contents of King Tut’s tomb. And it was some amazing stuff. Muhammed knew everything about everything, and was able to move smoothly from exhibit to exhibit without missing a beat and while remaining entertaining. I can’t even begin to describe the treasures this museum holds – but trust me when I say it’s something else to see what these ancient pyramids actually held. Spend as much time as you can there, because it’s worth every second.
Tip #11: When you go on a 4-day trip to a foreign country, you won’t be able to put all your stories on a blog – no matter how many entries you write.
Folks, I could go on and on about my vacation in Egypt. I could talk about the perfume factory we went to and the “essence” I bought; I could talk about the Papyrus Museum we went to; I could talk about Old Cairo and the synagogue, church, and mosque we visited; and I could talk about the 30 minutes we spent at the bazaar in Cairo. Not to mention all the little moments in between that made the trip as memorable as it was! But there’s really just too much. You gotta see it for yourself. That being said, while I’d recommend going to Egypt once, I don’t see myself going back any time soon. I mean, the Pyramids aren’t changing, and quite frankly, Cairo isn’t the type of city I would want to spend much time in. But nonetheless, it was certainly a trip to remember.
Some random thoughts to prolong this entry even more:
- If you haven’t picked up a theme from my tweets lately, I really wish I could be at Mizzou’s Homecoming this year. It really is the first and the finest, and was always my favorite weekend of the year while I was in school. To everyone still in college: Enjoy the weekend. To all my friends “coming home”: Enjoy it for me and I’ll be there with you next year!
- Overall solid season of How I Met Your Mother so far, I really liked Robin 101 and Duel Citizenship in particular. I’m liking the start to this season, especially because Ted isn’t so pathetic anymore. Interestingly enough, the cult of HIMYM is growing here at OTZMA: I’d say a good half of the group is now watching, mainly because everyone wants to borrow my copies of seasons 1, 2, and 3!
-Again, if you want to read my thoughts and experiences in a more formal format, head to http://stlotzma.blogspot.com. You’ll find more of a play-by-play description with less random thoughts and sidebars, as well as the musing of Andi, my fellow St. Louis participant.
That’s (finally) all for now – but keep watching this space for more to come!
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